My Supports

Who supports me?

First I need to look at what support means … dictionary .com defines support:

• To bear or hold up; serve as a foundation for.
• To sustain or withstand without giving way; serve as a prop for.
• To undergo or endure, especially with patience or submission; tolerate.
• To sustain under trial or affliction.
• To maintain by supplying with things necessary to existence; provide for.

Supports are those people and things who are there with me holding hands with me.

First, my faith supports me.  God is my sustainer and provider. 

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.  Psalm 54:4

The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.  Hebrews 1:3

Second, my husband is always there for me, for thick or thin!  While there are bad times and good times, he holds me up, he tolerates me, he provides for me.

My parents are another source of sustenance.  They are always there to talk, to care for me, to help watch their grandchildren, to provide home and food when it was needed, and have always walked with me through my trials.

I also need to add my children.  They sustain me by giving me a reason each day for what I do.  God  gave me these precious children as a gift.  They are the reason that I get up each day and help them grow to their greatest potential.

My church community is another source of support.  Most importantly, they help me maintain my relationship with God.

Another support is my phone … and it’s not even to call people … my calendar is on it!  My calendar is my prop for remembering things.  I have a horrible memory and if it’s not written down then my brain likely won’t remember it.  J

I have Depression.  Too often this is seen as something just in the head, but it is a disability just like Multiple Sclerosis or Diabetes.  Every day I take medication to maintain my brain chemicals.  My medication is another support.  When I do not have it or it is not functioning correctly, I cannot get through the day.

If any one of these supports were to not be a part of my life, I would struggle greatly in leading my everyday life.  Often I forget that they are there surrounding me and encouraging me.  It takes an activity like this … writing them down … to help me remember what provides for me, gives me a solid foundation, and sustains me through every life event.

Childhood Connections to Play

My mom was (and still is with my children) an incredible early childhood professional before it was a profession.  She would get on the floor and play with us, make games, promote crafts, and reading and music were essential, yet she would still send us away to do our own thing often.  I remember creating plays, making food from dirt, riding bikes up and down the street, heading to the creek to hop rocks, and walking through the woods and field by the radio station.  There are two memories stick out the most. 

The first is playing with the giant tinker toys!  They are just what you think.  Tinker Toys on steroids.  I can’t remember all the things that we would make with them, but the favorite was always a house.  As a product from the 80’s they are only available on ebay, yet my mom saved ours.  Some of the pieces are broken and we have a limited stash now, but my kids even love them … on the special occasions I get them out.  I still treasure these pieces of plastic. 

My kids playing with my old tinkertoys!

The second memory is the warmest day on record during Christmas break in the north!  Some of my friends were getting out their shorts … but that’s another story.  That day most of the neighborhood ended up at our house and my sister and I had brought out quite a few stuffed animals and had them hanging on our playset with ourselves.  Stuffed animals were a favorite of mine and I have passed that gene onto my son.  I remember in 6^th grade (I think), my friend and I still played with our animals and even had a wedding between 2 of them.  LOL.

As a child I was given the opportunity to just go and play and was able to use my imagination and create some amazing stories in my head.  Even as I got older, I would use snow days as an excuse to act like a 5 year old and go make a fort, battle the younger kids for king of the hill, and make the largest snowman ever. 

This is something that I want to be able to give my children … and I think I am not doing that bad of a job of it.  Just this afternoon they were in the backyard playing with “ooze” (mixture of cornstarch and water).  At one point, my 7-year-old told my 9-year-old that she was going to be the nurse now.  Not sure how it related to the ooze, but they were using their imaginations. AND I wasn't quick enough to get the camera and document the white stuff everywhere.  :)

As much as play is important for their life, it is also important for me as an adult.  My passion is scrapbooking, yet do not find the time to engage in this creative outlet often enough.  This is where I am able to play, stretch my imagination, try different textures and color combinations, record stories and memories, and get totally lost in the endeavor that I forget to eat … or eat a whole bag of M&M’s because they are sitting next to me.  J  Here is a recent endeavor:  

Children need the freedom and time to play.  Play is not a luxery.  Play is a necessity.  - Kay Redfield Jamison

Play energizes us and enlivens us.  It eases our burdens.  It renews our natural sense of optimism and opens us up to new possibilities.  - Stuart Brown

Relationships matter!

I posted a new link on the left bar for my Reflection on Relationships.  Have a great day!

Intelligence Testing

My family of geniuses trying to figure out the best way to erect a 20 foot Christmas tree of only lights.... I stayed away and let my husband join the fun!

The combination of genetics and environment has worked well for my family.  I grew up in a family of three where my father has a PhD (bio-physics at that!), my sister and I tested into gifted programs in elementary school, and my brother is brilliant.  My own children are doing amazingly well in school and continue to be at the top of their classes (in 1^st and 3^rd grade). This is why I went into education.  In particular my brother…  As I said he is brilliant!  He also has a learning disability and in elementary school they would not do an IQ test because he was testing at needing to be in a resource room for reading.  He has struggled through school and does not like to be an advocate for himself.  I remember him understanding the concepts of algebra in preschool, yet reading and writing were difficult for him.  In High School he went to the School for Science and Math in North Carolina which is a residential school for juniors and seniors around the state to “where students study a specialized curriculum emphasizing science and mathematics.” 

I went into school with a focus on special education, thinking that it would include a focus on the low and high ends of the bell curve.  In fact, there is little known about those with a high IQ compared to the wealth of knowledge we have on those on the opposite end.  There are many commonalities between the two and what we have learned about education for one subgroup can easily be applied to any other subgroup (middle, high, low etc). 

The purpose of an IQ test is to determine a person’s mental abilities relative to others of the same age.  If you score below 100 you are mentally at a younger age than the average, same goes if you are above the average.  I was reading an article on this topic and realized that if we take the children who fall in the center portion of the bell curve, this includes all children from an IQ of 70 to 130.  All of these children are typically placed in the same classroom in the United States.  At 3 years old, their mean age has a disparity of 1.8 years.  By 6 years old the disparity is 3.6 years and at 12 the disparity has grown to 7.2 years.  What does this mean for educators?  I’ll let you come up with your own conclusions.    

We may not have a schooling system in the United States that meets our highest achieving students and helps them completely in the ways they need, but we do have a system that is beginning to see their needs and provide supports.  This is opposed to so many in the world, who are unable to attend school, let alone have an intelligence test done or receive supports on the low or high end of the bell curve.

I decided to keep my focus on Madagascar again and see what their education system is like.  They do have mandatory education for children 6 to 14.  Nevertheless, like I wrote before, child labor is rampant in the country and many children are not offered the opportunity for an education due to their work.  In 2000, 14% of the children continued their education and enrolled in secondary school (age 12 to 17).  The UNESCO has been working with Madagascar for the “Education for All” up until 2009.   The political unrest in Madagascar has limited the ability to help education all the children and poorer and rural areas definitely suffer more.

As an early childhood educator at heart, I have been trained to teach to each individual child’s strengths and weaknesses.  If all educators were to take that stance, we would be grouping children by strengths and weaknesses, not by their IQ or label.  Determining IQ and labels should only be used when more information about the child is needed, but even that does not always give needed information.  When we focus on strengths and weaknesses, we look at each individual child and developing an education plan for that child.  I know that there are a lot of politics and financial issues there, but that in my opinion is what is needed in the United States and around the world. 

Birth

I have birthed three children.  Each has its own unique story and none of them happened the way I had planned.  I have a strong belief that women have been birthing babies longer than most ventures in life and without medical interventions.  We have medicalized so many aspects of life that do not need to be.  That said, I did not want to birth my children in a hospital setting.  We were living in Delaware, USA.  The options based on law are hospital birth or one available birth center. 

We chose the birth center and had wonderful mid-wives throughout the pregnancy experience.  My first child was born there.  Unfortunately it wasn’t the birth I had hoped for.  When I was in the beginning stages of labor, the midwives had given me something to help me sleep through the night so I would have the energy come active labor the following day.  Labor kicked in strong in the middle of the night.  I had a very difficult time staying awake through labor and it took much longer as I slept through every other contraction.  When he was born, as I am holding him in all his yucky newborn self, all I could think is “Hallelujah, now I can sleep!”  Not the best response when you have a newborn ready for your love and attention!

My second and third were in the hospital setting (in 2 different states).  Baby 2 was in the hospital because when my water broke there was a ton of meconium in the fluid thus (by law) necessitating the need to be hospitalized.  My nurse there had never witnessed a non-medicated birth, and thus had no idea how to interact with me while I was in active labor (i.e. asking me about a living will).  Strapped to machines, they didn’t want me sitting up, let alone getting out of bed.  Due to various unexpected factors, I was not able to hold her until she was 1 hour old.  This hospital in many ways was a baby factory … 300-400 births a day.  During our stay, I shared a room with another woman in a room meant to be a single.  arrgh

Baby 3 was born in the hospital. I had found a wonderful OB and knew that she would support us in all ways that I desired as far as birth was concerned.  I also knew the hospital respected natural birth.  They had a couple rooms with tubs!  J  But again, the best laid plans … She needed to be induced early because my blood pressure was skyrocketing.  Once again I was strapped up to machines with a cuff that took my blood pressure no matter if I was in the middle of a contraction or not.  I was able to labor in many various positions … only needing to maneuver the cords around which the nurse and my husband were wonderful about.  When she was born I waited maybe 5 minutes to hold her.  My stay in the hospital was wonderful.  I almost didn’t want to go home, the nurses took such great care of both of us … and I would be heading home to 2 children under the age of 5!

We decided to stop after 3 babies, not knowing what the birth of a 4^th would do to my body … or what that experience might be like.  All 3 of my children are beautiful and healthy, so even if their births weren’t what I had planned, they are a welcome joy in my life!

With my best intentions of having a non-medicalized birth … it didn’t happen.  So what about other areas of the world?  They must not all be as medicalized as mine?  I decided to look at another developed country with a large population and found Japan.

I found the story of Andy Gray and their birth experience in Japan after having given birth to their first child in the United States.  Their story and more information is found at http://www.globalcompassion.com/japan-birth.htm 

Some of the highlights:  doctors in Japan do not have the social status they do here in the US.  They have the income without the status and thus seek the status and control in their role.  Many OB doctors take care of prenatal care, delivery, and newborn care in their hospital setting.  You don’t make an appointment with the doctor, you just show up to see him and wait your turn (much like an emergency room set-up).  If the doctor needs to deliver a baby, you wait until he is finished for your time to see him.

“Doctors monopolize control of the birth process in most situations.”  Midwives work with the mother prior to delivery but the role of delivering babies is in the hands of the doctor.  It happens the way the doctor wants.  Nurses are not empowered and often lack basic information, they do what they think is right from their cultural perspective (not medical) and do whatever the doctor tells them to do.

The Maternity ward was a large room with beds around the sides.  Each bed separated by a curtain that is never opened.  Japanese people do not make noise in public spaces and so the ward was very quiet.

Fathers are not part of the birth process and are often an unwelcome presence.

So – is it a medicalized process?  Yes and No.  It is whatever the doctor wants!  The patient does not have a lot of say at all.

This has made me appreciate the choices that I was able to make, my ability to ask questions and stay a part of the process and not focus on the negative perceptions of the births of my children.

Personal Childhood Web

Friday I created a new page on my site with my personal childhood web.  It's my web of individuals who helped me become the person I am today.  There are many more people who have influenced my life, but these were the ones that came to mind this week.  Maybe in the future I will add more!
Enjoy

Stained Glass

I was cleaning out some folders this morning and I came across this picture that "C" made last year.  He was going through the God and Me class.  An assignment that he chose was to look at all the stained glass in our church and then draw his own picture.  This is what he did.  So simple and yet so true.  How great it is to remember that's how children think.  Simple and Honest.

2 year olds

 The first few years of life are fun!  I have posted a picture of myself and each of my children "C" and "B" and "E" ... we are all at the age of 2 in these pictures.  I can look at them now and see their personalities beginning to shape and form into who we are now.

Now I am teaching 2 year olds.  Each child is so open to the future.  Trusting.  Hopeful.  Innocent.  That's how each child's life should start.  With the hope and promise of the future.

What does the future hold for my students?  Me?  My children?