Relationship Reflection

I have been blessed me with people in my life with whom I consider myself very close to.  However, along life’s journey, I have found that developing and maintaining these relationships takes quite a bit of work.  When we moved to North Carolina and left our best friends in Delaware, I was lost.  I was not sure how to ever make a friend again, and as an introvert, I was scared to death!  Over that summer, I found a book by Lisa Whelchel titled “Taking Care of the Me in Mommy” where she talks about the importance of taking care of yourself so that you can be the best mommy to your children.  She has one chapter dedicated the importance of frienships.  It’s still not easy, but it gave me the encouragement and strength to put myself out there, to be a friend to others and work to develop relationships in a new place.  At the same time, it takes work to keep those old relationships strong. 

I have learned that strong relationships function two ways.  I give and they give.  And sometimes we get together and cry that neither of us has given in a while and we reclaim that bond. 

Why do strong and positive relationships have to be so hard to maintain?  As a culture, we have initiated a sense of urgency for the unimportant.  We keep ourselves busy and occupied with many things.  Some are important, some are just urgent, and some are truly a waste of time (surfing the web for umpteen hours after you told your hubby you would be in bed in a minute…Guilty!).  When there is so much going on, it is hard to take time away to care for ourselves, let alone those relationships in our lives.

Now I need to give a shout out to all those people in my life who put up with me slacking on the relationship end of things.  All of these people are really important to me in my life.  We share commonalities (and differences) as well as love each other unconditionally.  Thank you!

Doug – my hubby!  We keep realizing that we need to reconnect, that we have drifted, and we’ll have a date and then realize we should do this more often … and then the kids, schedules, and life get in the way and the dates never happen.  Hmmmm….sounds like a pattern we need to break!  Date night this weekend????

Dawn (& Patrick too) – our best friends we left in Delaware.  We would still love for you to come live down here!  J  Pastors and teachers are needed everywhere!  J  You both opened your hearts to us when we needed it the most.  We may not talk often, but the reconnecting is always really sweet!

Emily (& Brian) – While Dawn & Patrick our the godparents to our oldest two children, you are charged with our youngest … which I think is going to be the toughest!  Your faith and hearts are always true and kind.  I learn how to be affirming and supportive from you.  Let’s get that night out on the calendar soon!

Carolyn – Your mother in law was right when she said she thought we would get along great!  I can tell you my joys, sorrows, fears, and road blocks knowing that you will pray with me and see me through to the other side … just as I do for you.  Can I say more – except “How about some ice cream!?”

Erinn – my co-teacher in crime!  J  We have learned so much from each other this year…. Like when to throw up our hands, stop trying and just let them be.  Every opportunity we share is a learning experience!  Here’s to the next learning experience … losing weight and getting healthier.  We can do it, because we are there to support each other!

So if my personal relationships mean so much to me, shouldn’t my professional relationships also be positive and healthy?  It means, just like my personal relationships, I need to take the time to give it my focus and attention.  To spend time with other people in conversation.  To take the time to write the small note (thank you Emily!).  To reflect on the best way to communicate information.  To communicate in ways that the other person is able to respond to.  And to pray constantly.  It’s a tall order, but it is definitely worth it when I am able to form a bond with a family that can get us through and over any roadblocks that may come our way.


  1. Even though we have different backgrounds, it is interesting to read how our backgrounds are different but similar. Most people value family and relationships that have had a significant impact on their life.

  2. Hello Amy:

    You are so right...Why is so hard to maintain good relationships? I have been guilty of that as well. Few months ago when I started school I found myself so busy that I was not dedicating time to my friends and family. Fortunately I realized I was going to lose everyone I have in my life if I did not start including them in my life. Now I am taking the time every week at least make a phone call and speak to the people that care about me.

  3. Hi Amy,

    Your blog is great! I am also guilty of neglecting my husband. I have homeschooled our daughter since kindergarten (she is 18), worked from home part-time for most of our married life, and in the past five years I have completed a bachelor's and master's degree, so it has been really easy to put the husband aside in order to complete everything else that needs done in a day. However, I agree that maintaining relationships, although difficult at times, is an important part of a fulfilling life and worth working on everyday.

  4. Hey Amy,

    Thanks for the blog and the kind words! One of the hardest things Dawn and I ever had to adjust to was you guys moving to NC. You are still our best friends and we miss you all the time! I was riding my bike three weeks ago through George Washington National Forest, which borders Douthat, and last summer's great memories all came back to me.

    As for coming to NC . . . There are also great things to come back to in DE, right? Okay . . . probably not - Oh! Wait! I know!! Dogfishhead!!! Claymont Steak Shop!!! Herrs!!! Tastycake!!! Okay, so everything I just named contributes to my ever expanding waistline, but let's face it . . . mmmmmmmmmm!

    Anyway . . . if a great call ever come up in NC, let me know . . . I'll pray about it! It would have to be close to you, though. Otherwise, what's the point really.

    We love you guys!

    Patrick and Dawn